Greetings!! Motivation, money, metabolism retraining, marketing, management, meaning and life balance. My expertise has spanned these areas since 1982. Today I’m writing about life balance. This affects all the others directly.
Perhaps you’re like me. Perhaps you too have found yourself in a situation far more stressful than one you’ve been in for a very long time. Or maybe you’ve never been in such a stressful situation ever before. Do you find yourself consumed with one thought or challenge on an ongoing basis? Are you spending virtually every waking minute working on this problem in one form or another? Maybe you’re concerned, like I’ve been, because you’re aware that while positive stress is very good for the body, soul and spirit, negative stress not only brings about illness, it actually kills people.
The last two to three years have been unlike any I’ve ever lived through. I’m thankful I have the wisdom to be grateful that the problems I’ve faced are business- related and not concerns of family illness (like cancer returned), a child in harm’s way or something else in life that truly matters, but the pressure still got to me.
About 3 months ago, and then again a couple of weeks ago, I was asked a question that stopped me dead in my tracks. I was having dinner with some internet marketing friends and one of them asked, “What do you do for fun Donna?”
My brain sprinted through all the things I used to do to maintain balance in my life. “Say something, you big goof!” My mind raced, realizing that the very elements of my life that had always given me balance – something to focus on so my mind could come up with the solution to a problem – were missing! Has this happened to you? The grey matter between my ears urged my lips to produce the answers that had always been true, but I knew I wasn’t doing them at all. My joy had officially been stolen.
After answering his question, I instantly realized I needed to do something about this. I had way too much going on that produced stress to not be involved heavily in the stuff I loved that reduces it! “We can’t find the solution when we’re focused on the problem.” That’s the number one reason for balance and having fun in our lives.
I began to work to put these things back into place. I got involved in dance again. Oh, how I’ve missed that!!! I read more and wrote a lot in my journal.
Then, just two weeks ago, I was sitting at a marketing event and someone asked me the exact same question again. Again, my mind knew the answers and again I had to admit I wasn’t doing these balance activities nearly as often as I should be.
I also realized something else. These two guys were making a very clear observation that it appeared all I did was work! Yuck!! Yikes!! This is everything I’ve ever taught against! How did this happen to me?!?!
I had an “ah-ha” moment and knew it would help you and me both. Stress in any form can cause emotional reaction, and emotional reaction causes us to bite at people we normally adore, sit on the couch vegging rather than exercise, eat comfort foods, slump into states of depression, make rash decisions, be paralyzed with fear, feel very ill, have high blood pressure, bleeding ulcers, abnormal gastric or bowel functions, or any of a myriad of other manifestations. The bottom line is that without balance in our lives, the likelihood skyrockets for us becoming overweight, unfit, or our relationships and/or businesses suffering. No matter what you’re living through (and especially if you’re living through something really tough) you MUST have a strong balance quotient and have fun if you’re to survive.
So, what’s you’re balance quotient? Your balance quotient is the relativity of daily negative stress to activities that bring you fun, joy and peace, and provide you with a healthy distraction from the day-to-day. First we need to look at stress scores. Divide a piece of notebook paper into two columns. Write “Stress Score” at the top of one column and “Balance Score” on the other. This test will only take two business days.
Starting the moment you get up, stop each ½ hour and write down what you did for the last ½ hour. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being most, write what the negative stress score was for each activity/half hour. If there was no particular stress, give no score and if the stress was positive, give a score on the balance side with 10 being the highest. As you move on with your day, give yourself a balance score every ½ hour as well, with 10 being the highest. Quit when you go to bed rather than when the workday ends.
At the end of two days, add your Stress column, add your Balance column, then divide Stress by Balance to get your balance quotient (Stress / Balance = Balance Quotient). At the very least, you want them to be even. When the stress score is much higher than the balance score, trouble could be looming. Ideally, you want the balance score higher. Begin to change the way you do things so the stress score goes down.
This exercise will accomplish two things very quickly. You’ll see whether or not your life is packed full of stress rather than balanced with fun and you’ll want to add balance right away!
Balance comes in many forms. Just to make a few suggestions, I personally love to dance: all kinds and every kind. I love exercising and doing absolutely anything at all with my family. I love playing with my dogs! I like sitting by the ocean, laying on the grass or on the beach, hiking, climbing and bike riding, pretty much anything outdoors. I adore watching movies and like to journal. I LOVE to travel! I thrive on laughing out loud. I’m taking up cooking and baking again. I like decorating my home on a dime. For those of you who don’t know what that means, I like to decorate with the least amount of money possible. I enjoy learning and am crazy about uncovering more and more of how crazy God is about me!! I compose poetry to honor people I love and I offer unexpected gestures of love to those people too. Of course there are many, many others forms of balance. The goal is to find the ones that provide you with healthy distraction and engage in them regularly!
Whether you want to lose weight, build a successful business or have a great relationship with someone, the balance quotient can bring all three to fruition.
So, what do YOU do for fun? Respond below!!