4 Simple Step System
(Keep reading, I’ll show you the entire system)
Ever feel like your relationships (whether personal or business) aren’t as good as they could be… as good as you’d like them to be? Ever feel like the communication between you and the other person or persons is nearly non-existent? Maybe your thoughts are, “They don’t listen, they won’t hear me.”
I’ve been at the game of business and the game of life for a loooong time now. A common frustration I observe is that people don’t know how to communicate a need they see for improving something. Instead, most often, complaining ensues, arguments occur, resentment sets in and poison begins to infiltrate the marriage, friendship, family, church or company where the issue is occurring. It doesn’t have to be this way folks. Solutions can occur……and very simplistically. God made life simple… we humans have simply acquired a knack for complicating everything. Seriously, solutions can come simplistically. There is hope, there are solutions, you can be happy and productive.
Below is wisdom for getting an idea heard or seeing a change take place.
Step 1- Share what you LIKE about the present way what’s bothering you is being done. We can always find positives if we look for them. Starting a conversation with what’s good is what true leaders do. This is typically an innate character trait or one you learned as you grew up, but it can be learned. Remember, people listen and minds and hearts are open when we say what’s working. You’ll start the conversation on a note that will allow communication to occur and concerns to be heard.
Step 2- Share your CONCERNS. Being specific about facts holds merit plus shows you’re not acting out of emotion. An opinion of value is based on more than just your opinion. Be certain to base your concerns on facts. It’s important to realize that your goal is not to point out flaws, but to share concerns about how the behavior, system or issue could result in something other than what anybody wants to see happen. Think of HOW you are presenting your concern. Choose words based on facts.
Step 3- Share what YOU could have done better to get a different outcome. TAKE OWNERSHIP of your behavior….. personal responsibility moves mountains Blaming words and behaviors build them. Most of us have no idea that when we blame someone else we are taking the position of a victim. When you share what behaviors YOU could improve on about YOU, you will get heard and your information will be received.
Step 4- Share the SOLUTION for improving YOU and for improving the OUTCOME.. Be specific, give a potential plan of action, measurable outcomes that will result and a date by which that the plan could produce results.
This works my friends. It pulls walls of defensism down and builds unity. It destroys the, sometimes manufactured myths we have in our head about reality and addresses it dead on. It’s fair, it’s easy. It works. Be blessed. I’d love to hear how it works for you. Let me know…..
Thanks for sharing this article with friends, family and co-works if it served you. Be encouraged to use it as a training tool. I’d ask you to simply give credit to the author if you would please. The law says you must give credit if you use it, your integrity says you gladly will.
(A note to existing business leaders.) If using this for business, you need to set a time and place for when this system is used, if you want to propose new ideas with it. Otherwise, it should be used every time a team member has a concern to share. To use this as a worksheet, simply create space under each numbered item and have team members fill their thoughts in the space.
Those who use this approach are leaders with a character of integrity. Unfortunately there are people with leadership skills who don’t own their own behavior, but blame others. Those folks never know the success they could have known if they’d have applied this system. Experience has taught me to look for and celebrate people who display this kind of character. I trust them completely because they are transparent.
If you’re a business owner or manager, and you’re looking for these folks, rest easy, they will reveal themselves. For those on your team who want to grow into leadership, and they’re not displaying this behavior, they need to be trained on this crucial communication system. Once they know it, it’s up to them to display it. You simply need to watch and listen. Because of the personal responsibility aspect of this system, and the required positive presentation, anyone attempting to ‘fake it’ can’t do so for very long. Conversely, those who live it will get noticed by everyone as a leader worth following.
Watch for LiCOS… (LIKE, CONCERNS, OWNERSHIP, SOLUTION) words and behaviors and offer that person growth in your company! This is behavior worth investing in!
In A CONSTANT State of Victory,
Donna
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