The scene might look something like this. Things are going along pretty well during the course of the day. Everyone is doing their thing, playing their role in the department or company and then something happens that creates tension. Maybe a deadline is drawing near and stress levels climb as attempts are made to achieve the goal. Maybe one person on the team thinks another isn’t ‘pulling their weight’.
Perhaps someone drops the ball and a task doesn’t get completed or someone else doesn’t let others know the details about what’s going on and the rest of the team is left looking ill-equipped.
It could be a number of things that create the tension, but the fact is the air is thick. You begin to see sides of people you only see in these circumstances.
One withdraws into herself. She just shuts down. All of the sudden she’s not talking, she’s not even looking at anyone. Another begins to talk about everything that’s going wrong. It’s like they focus on only on the negative and complaining ensues. Yet another one erupts. He’s pushing everyone around and moving through the facility like an army tank on a mission. One more begins to worry. Another one turns from the normal fun and carefree person she usually is into a grumpy, unrecognizable person whose words bite at others.
Sound familiar? Stress is the circumstance that can sometimes cause the difficult person in even the most subdued to arise.
Let’s look at a scene of a different kind. The team is functioning well. Goals are being achieved, attitudes are good and spirits are strong. The meetings are productive, even fun. 
Everyone seems to be on the same page… everyone except for that one person.
She seems to have a habit of blaming those around her for areas that aren’t going well, which are really her responsibility in the first place. She’s telling others she can’t close sales because the person who booked the appointment said something wrong or she can’t manage her department well because ‘they’ just don’t listen.
Maybe you have this one on your otherwise productive and positive team. He is just plain negative and challenging. He attacks others verbally and disrespects those in leadership. He’s got talent, but he’s tough to be around. He seems to see only what others do wrong.
Maybe in the midst of things going well there’s yet another kind of staff member. Maybe in your facility you have that one who makes promises, but just doesn’t follow through on them. You find yourself checking on them often because you’re sure they’re not going to come through.
Hey, it could be that all is well except the gossip. There’s one on the team who likes to keep things stirred up around her. She always seems to be in everyone else’s business and you know it prevents production.
What on earth do you do with these folks? Good news. These people, under pressured circumstances or merely in the day-to-day, that seem to be the most difficult can be turned around. They can become your most prized, loyal and productive team member. I know… I’ve lived it.
There a two approaches used for this simple transformation. One is individual and is used when the systems are in place, working well and the team as a whole is functioning fine, but there is one individual who needs some attention.
And by the way don’t get discouraged if from time to time there is one, we’re dealing with human beings here… perfection won’t take place so save yourself some stress, don’t expect it. Instead expect the wonderfully exciting world of experiencing interpersonal relationships between people. This approach requires merely a proven good procedure for communication and feedback.
The individual approach:
THE INDIVIDUAL APPROACH REQUIRES MERELY A PROVEN GOOD PROCEDURE FOR COMMUNICATION AND FEEDBACK.
Mirroring is, in my opinion, the most effective form of communication… especially when handling something difficult. It simply involves letting the other person talk (no interruptions) and when they’ve finished saying the following words.
“So what I hear you saying is…….” They will respond with an affirmative that you’ve heard them correctly or they will tell you that you have not and you can then ask for clarification. It works! It produces understanding and understanding produces positive results. And positive results in a business are things like sales, commission, bonuses and profit!