Ever feel like when you speak, no one hears you? You say the same thing over and over again, yet people just don’t respond the way you need them to or expect? Communication is such a vital part of our everyday lives, be it in business, or with friends and family, yet many of us struggle to get the results we want. Well my friend, that’s all about to change. In this article, I’m going to show you how to say what you really mean to get what you really want.
Are your personal or business relationships as good as they could be, or as good as you’d like them to be? Ever feel like communication is nearly non-existent between you and the other person? Maybe your thoughts are, “They don’t listen,” or, “They won’t hear me.” You might find yourself thinking, “How can they NOT know what I said??? I said it!!!” Yet, the outcome isn’t what you agreed it would be…. or what you believed you agreed to.
I’ve been at the game of business and the game of life for a loooong time now. I’ve lived through the absolute frustration of not understanding where the other person was coming from. I’ve lived through the stress of someone else not getting where I was coming from. It’s tough but totally fixable!
Let’s be honest, we’re all managing. Whether we’re managing a team, a marriage, a friendship… if we’re succeeding at it… we’ve come to the realization that we’re all managing each other. And while some things are a whole lot more challenging to manage, management in and of itself can be a huge pain in the you know what.
UNLESS… you have the system that gets results. When I started using it, everything changed. And I mean EVERYTHING. My companies started working like a well-oiled machine! We had fun! We made more money!! We touched more lives and grew our business!!!
I’ve seen this occur in the many businesses I’ve coached too. The common frustration I’ve observed is that people don’t know how to communicate when they see a need for improving something. Instead, most often, complaining ensues, arguments occur, resentment sets in, and poison begins to infiltrate the marriage, friendship, family, church, department, club or business where the issue is occurring.
But It doesn’t have to be this way folks. Solutions can occur, and very simplistically. God made life simple… we humans have acquired a knack for complicating everything. Seriously, solutions can come simplistically. There is hope, there are solutions. You can be happy AND productive.
Again, this can be used in your personal life or in your club, with your team. I personally think it’s all life, and a great communication system will work in all areas. This is a great communication system for all situations but for the sake of this article, I’ll share this system with a slant toward a team of people that work together. Below is wisdom for getting an idea heard or seeing a change take place.
Step 1- Share what you LIKE about the present way that what’s bothering you is being done.
We can always find positives if we look for them. Starting a conversation with what’s good is what true leaders do. This is typically an innate character trait or one you acquired from your environment as you grew up, but it can be learned. Remember, people listen and minds/hearts are open when we say what’s working first. You’ll start the conversation on a note that will allow communication to occur and concerns to be heard.
Step 2- Share your CONCERNS based on facts.
Being specific about facts holds merit plus shows you’re not acting out of emotion. An opinion of value is based on more than just your opinion. Be certain to base your concerns on facts. It’s important to realize that your goal is not to point out flaws, but to share concerns about how the current behavior, system or issue could result in something other than what anybody wants to see happen. Think of HOW you are presenting your concern. Choose words based on facts instead of feelings and show the relevance to the goals of the company and individuals.
Step 3- Share what YOU could have done differently to get a better outcome. TAKE OWNERSHIP.
Personal responsibility will move mountains. Blaming words and behaviors will build barriers. Most of us have no idea that when we blame someone else we are taking the position of a victim. When you share what behaviors YOU could improve on about YOU, you will get heard and your information will be received.
Step 4- Share the SOLUTION for improving YOU and for improving the OUTCOME.
Be specific. Give a potential plan of action with measurable outcomes and a date by which the plan will produce results.
This works, my friends. It pulls down walls of defensiveness and builds unity. It destroys the manufactured myths we have in our heads about reality, and addresses problems dead on. It’s fair, it’s easy, it works. Be blessed by it. I’d love to hear how it works for you. Let me know…
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Thanks for sharing this article with friends, family and co-works if it served you. Be encouraged to use it as a training tool. I’d ask you to simply give credit to the author if you use it; the law says you must give credit if you use it, and your integrity says you gladly will give credit.
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Those who use this approach are leaders with a character of integrity. Unfortunately, there are people with leadership skills who don’t own their own behavior but blame others. Those folks never know the success they could have known if they’d have applied this system. Experience has taught me to look for and celebrate people who display this kind of character. I trust them completely because they are transparent.
If you’re a business owner or manager, and you’re looking for these folks, rest easy, they will reveal themselves. For those on your team who want to grow into leadership, and they’re not displaying this behavior, they need to be trained on this crucial communication system. Once they know it, it’s up to them to display it. You simply need to watch and listen.
Because of the personal responsibility aspect of this system, and the required positive presentation, anyone attempting to “fake it” can’t do so for very long. Conversely, those who live it will get noticed by everyone as a leader worth following. Watch for LiCOS (LIKE, CONCERNS, OWNERSHIP, SOLUTION) words and behaviors and offer that person growth in your company! This is behavior worth investing in!
A note to leaders: If you intend to use this system as a tool for presenting new ideas, you need to set a time and place for when this system is to be used. Otherwise, for “business as usual”, it should be used anytime and every time a team member has a concern to share.
To get the companion worksheet to this article, contact my office at the number below. On our team… if you don’t bring a LIKE and a SOLUTION with a concern, you don’t have the right to be heard. I love this rule! It creates great leaders, makes business growth easier, and keeps stress and negative at a nearly non-existent level! Yahoo!!
There are also times that, as the leader, you need to just state the facts directly. In an upcoming training, I’ll speak about doing that. Want more training for your team like this? We provide a free Success Coaching call on creating the business of your dreams. Simply dial toll free, 1-866-260-8446, ask for Beth, and tell her you’d like to enroll for the free training on creating the business you’ve always dreamt of having.