Recently I re-learned something that just stood up and poked me right in the nose, especially after I allowed myself to really absorb the point. I found out QUICKLY that my whole world could (and did) change if I took what I re-learned to heart. I’ve discovered a magic potion for positive change, a downright miraculous tip for bringing about good stuff in your life and business.Do you know that when someone really bugs you – you know, the person that gets under your skin so badly — that’s because of an internal reflection we don’t want to see. It’s called ‘projecting’. Who is it for you? Who is it that really drives you nuts, makes you cry, stresses you out, and causes you to just want to SCREAM? Well, what is it about that person that drives you crazy? Go ahead, define it. What about them makes you nuts?
Psychology shows us it’s far less painful to see in someone else what you don’t want to see in yourself. I asked the psychologist on our advisory board what percentage of the time it’s the case that what makes us crazy about someone else is actually an issue we’re not willing to face about ourselves?
I said to him, I know that we’re dealing with human beings so it’s tough to give a percentage. I’m sure sometimes a person just bugs us for another reason. But if you could guess, what percentage of the time would you say that projection is the case when someone is really getting under our skin?”
He replied with an answer I NEVER thought I’d hear. You could have knocked me over when he said, “One hundred percent of the time.”
I said, “Did you just say, ‘ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of the time?’”
He said, “If we’re not responding, Donna, we’re reacting. It’s that simple. And we’re reacting to something that’s pushing our buttons – projecting.”
So there’s your first tip. If you truly want success you need to identify the stuff that needs improved in yourself. After all, that’s what personal development is all about. And, since pointing out the yucky stuff in us isn’t something we enjoy letting someone else do, why not do it ourselves? The next time you start to feel crazy over something this person has done or said, remember it’s one hundred percent of the time something you don’t like about yourself.
Ask yourself, “What is it that drives me crazy about them? Now it’s time for me to face that part of my personality I don’t want to see. What can I do about it?” I promise you my friend–you’ll see nothing but improvement after that! A bonus is that you’ll find fewer faults with others too. Even if you weren’t telling them, the voice in your own head was telling you negative things, but it can’t accuse others of wrongdoing if it’s focusing on self-improvement.
Second – Stop comparing yourself to others!!! It’s wisdom to look to others for inspiration, ideas and research. When we doubt what can be or when we feel stuck we can find inspiration in the fact that someone is accomplishing. This yells the truth at us that it can be done! We can get ideas by looking at others because we see what is actually being done. This ignites our own creativity. And finally, using the work of others for research tells us how something is being accomplished, and what methods and systems are being used. BUT we should not compare ourselves to them. In order for true success to occur we need only look to ourselves for comparison. Then–with all your might–work to beat your best. When you do that–work to beat your best–success will happen. Don’t work to beat someone else; it creates unhealthy competition and too often negative feelings. Work to beat your best and before you know it, you’ll be heads and shoulders above your competition!!!
Third – Be aware of what negative words can do to your life. Before you realize it they pull you in and then down. Once down, it’s pretty tough to get back up again. Too often we don’t (or won’t) realize the negative around us. Use the simple question, “Are my thoughts and the words I say — as well as the words I hear from others — getting me closer to or farther from my goal?” Don’t be so pompous as to think it won’t get to you. It does. Maintain the positive and the solution will always reveal itself. The way I do this is to simply pray for wisdom. It works like a miracle!! I believe God wants us to be happy, prosperous, joyous and positive. When we pray for wisdom He helps us be just that–wise–and wisdom isn’t negative.
Lastly, EMBRACE THIS TRUTH! THERE IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION!!!!!!! There is always a way to overcome an obstacle, get better, grow more, do better, have more. There is always a way. Maintaining that outlook on life is without a doubt what has taken so many leaders, sales people, entrepreneurs and millionaires to the place they found themselves. There is always a solution. There is always a solution. There is always a solution. There is always a solution!