I suppose the reason I have so many followers and fans on social media is due to the adversity I’ve overcome in my life and the success I’ve seen. Not to mention the speaking I am blessed to do and the books and programs I have been blessed to share, I’m sure also bring people there. In my social media posts I share quite regularly about how I came to realize that the success I’ve known has been due to the same reason I spent time going through so much difficulty…. that reason was the word choice. Recently, someone posted that she didn’t agree. I decided today to share the conversation so it can bless you as well.
Yep, it puts me out there and risks a lot of vulnerability. I don’t care. This is truth and it needs to be heard. It’s time to decide what the ‘F’ word means to you. While it was the words opportunity and choice that I was telling stories about, the one we ended up discussing on social media, on that particular day, became the word ‘fortunate’. Needless to say, I will not share her identity.
I greeted my followers with a morning message that asked them the following question…..
Donna–A question to get your brain headed into a very positive, productive direction as this magnificent week begins. On a scale of 1 to 10, how close are you to living your dream? Note- I didn’t ask what you do for a living, or if you have money, or if you are healthy, or if you have people around you who love you. I didn’t ask anything specific. I asked, on a scale from 1 to 10, how close you are to living the life you’ve always dreamt of living. Now… what would it take to make it a 10? We get one life my friend. What would take to get it seriously headed in the direction of a 10 TODAY?
The follower posted this answer….
Person commenting–I’m at a minus 10. Some of us aren’t as fortunate as you.
Donna—I truly understand being at a minus 10. Fortunate is an interesting word to describe someone who’s been abused, lived in total poverty, been depressed to the point of being a minus 10 and so much more. If you want to call that fortunate, I’ll receive it. For had I not been through the lowest of lows that I’ve been through, I would not know that burdens are designed to give birth to blessings. I would not realize that beauty is intended to come from ashes. So, I am very fortunate to have experienced so much pain. Not everyone chooses to see their pain that way… and it can take a LOT of time and prayer to get there. The beginning is simply to realize the truth of it all. But honestly, even that is our choice.
Yes, I have been at a minus 10. I finally learned the number I was living at was up to me. Life doesn’t ‘do it’ to us. Other people don’t do it. God doesn’t do it. It’s hard to hear, but where we are is based on the choices we make.
I came to the place where I figured out that I didn’t have to like it. I didn’t have to agree with it. I didn’t even have to believe it… it was still true. My life, my happiness, my outlook…. it was all my choice.
She responded with these words…..
Person commenting– I’m sorry I don’t always agree with that. At my age I believe that nothing is going to change much. I can live for God and I do. But I’m stuck financially and there is no changing that. It’s called accepting reality. I say fortunate for you because you had opportunities and you took them, that’s great but for you. I don’t believe I was given those kind of opportunities. Not financially anyways. It’s hard to dream when you are in constant survival mode, financially. I’m just saying, to me, it sounds like bragging and a reminder that I will never see any of my dreams come true. I’m getting along and surviving but it’s hard to hear that others are achieving their dreams and others never will.
Realizing that this person’s anger is merely a representation of her hurt, I shared this back to her….
Donna– I am truly sorry you are hurting. My words will always be those that speak life. Even when facing a death sentence, even when facing bankruptcy, even when being beaten up, even when facing losing my home, even when facing losing a child… my husband and I choose to see the blessings. Your view point and your opinion are certainly your right. My ‘bragging’, as you refer to it, gives a lot of people hope. I’ve witnessed first-hand people being told they would die, living many years. I’ve watched people over 80 years of age increase their finances. I’ve watched God do miracles when it seemed there was no miracle to be found. I praise Him that I choose to see life this way. This is how I choose to see reality. I’ll not stop sharing these words and stories of hope. If they upset you so, you may want to unfriend me. For they are who I am.
She then proceeded to tell me how wrong she thought I was and lashed out with an even greater fury of anger. I, on the other hand, determined to use the situation to grow from and to help others produce their own positive reality. So, that brings me to my question for you. Do you see the word ‘fortunate’ as the new ‘F’ word?
Unfortunately (no pun intended) if you do, you will never know what it means to be fortunate because you are claiming, and dare I say even relishing in, your misfortune. I guess the rationale of justifying a less than desirable place in life might work with me had I not lived through the circumstances I’ve lived through.
My point is this, you are fortunate! You are fortunate when you’ve suffered and choose to see it as a blessing. You are fortunate when you’ve lost at love, business and money and choose to learn from it. You are fortunate when you been scared and depressed and came out faith-filled and rejoicing… even when you’ve not seen the circumstances change yet. Too many folks think their circumstances indicate whether they are fortunate or not. I believe how we respond to our circumstances determines whether I am fortunate or not. And I can tell you this one thing for sure… when I focused on my misfortune, I got more of the same. Life was tough, I was hurting and I felt anything but fortunate. However, when I focused on gratitude and looked for the lessons to learn and chose joy, the most miraculous thing took place. It seemed that I was fortunate…. more and more so every day.
It’s been said that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the greatest amount of time with. We are the average of their health, their relationships, their income, their outlook and their success. I choose to associate with FORTUNATE friends. I choose to spend time filling my life with people who see passed their misfortune and count it all as blessing. If there is a new ‘F’ word…. I think it might serve you and I to maybe make it be ‘friends’ who claim they are not fortunate.